It was an intense year of lunar activity – 2015 the year of Supermoons, blood moons, blue moons, lunar eclipse…and today is the first New Moon of the year. This moon-phase is associated with the planting of seeds, new beginnings, the focus of intentions, the shadow, the inward journey.
I was born on a New moon. This New Moon marks the turn of a decade. A decade that began with a strong Call to Adventure, going out into the world traveling solo seeking new experiences.
A decade that inspired me, challenged me, broke me, healed me, awed me, burned me and plunged me into they depths and shook me awake from my dreaming. My grandfather wrote on my birthday card then, “out of the hottest fire comes the finest tempered steel”, like he already knew. And my grandmother described the 20’s as “turbulent”, like coming through the impact zone trying to make your way beyond breaking waves and find your place in the line-up. This last year especially felt particularly intense, with the peaks of the waves rising high and the troughs deeper, a year of grace and grit, like I could feel the strong push and pull or ebb and flow of the tides as the moon pulled on the surface of the earth.
These last weeks, grounded momentarily at home have given my time to reflect to play and experiment with creating ritual, a wonderful way to create focus in our lives.
What were the moments that really lit you up inside in 2015?
Write a list write now, let words flow and don’t think too hard. Give yourself just a few minutes – make 3 – and see what comes out.
When I wrote my list, It became clear that they were all moments when I was without an agenda, unplugged, immersed in nature or indulging my inner artist, or playing and having fun in the moment with good company, moments that took me by surprise and made me laugh. What mattered most was freedom, adventure, creativity, relationship. And for each of those moments I was fully there, present in the moment. I call these mindful moments my ‘points of grace’, accepting that we are never without tension or challenge but that it’s how we choose to be with the way things are. It’s less about trying to change things, noticing where there is resistance and aikido-ing it instead – redirecting our energy – so it becomes about how to be with the way things are, with what is happening and how we are feeling.
What came up for you on your list?
I’ve found journaling a really powerful tool my whole life, a place to let ideas flow and expand to reflect, except that I don’t review what I’ve written very often. When I do it surprises me all that’s happened in so short a time. I decided to do a ‘quick scan’ review of my Passion Planner – flicking the pages and stopping at random dates:
April 15th: Hustling all day long
May 20th: Laughter and listening
June 17th: Physically broken, mentally exhausted
Nov 11th: Slept 12 hours(!), rambled, napped, idea-stormed and mind-mapped
Dec 16th: Creatively alive. Soul singing, freedom
A friend of mine asked me at the turn of this year, “what’s pulling you for the coming year?”
Oddly, I feel much less of a push or a pull, which is curious for me as I live by the ebb and flow of the tides, often literally. By that I mean I feel a much deeper sense of groundedness, being present to whatever needs to emerge, allowing space for that… this last year is best described as radically transformative, for every ‘awakening’ a plunge into darkness…I didn’t realise I had so many skins to shed. The letting go of non-essentials, the breaking of old patterns, freeing myself from toxic relationships and learning how to better nourish the ones that really light me up, slowly beginning to reclaim my power, to declare who I am, to know what I want and what I don’t want and how to ask for that… A major refocusing of my energy, calling it back home to myself.
In the process, it may have cost me some of my innocence / naivety, call it what you will, but it feels like there is so much more clarity, and purity, because I’ve begun to accept my own truth, not trying to live others. I walked up the hill at home to watch the last light of the sun sink into the cold Atlantic fury and I smiled. I’d made it, my body felt whole with his scars and aches and all. Despite the injuries accumulated I felt strong, at home in my new skin – the part of ourselves that constantly renews itself every 2 to 4 weeks.
The constancy that is finding balance.
I realise the need for constancy, the constancy that is balance – both holding on and letting go as an aerial dance friend of mine, Vessa said…never without tension. If anything pulls me its this clarity – trusting in the process, which for me is less about trying to change things and more about how we choose to be with the way things are, about noticing where there is resistance and aikido-ing it, letting myself sink into the embrace, open to love…
Or to sum it up; 2015 was my year of Grit, 2016 my year of Grace.
I’ll leave you with some questions that might help you spark your own journaling – just start writing, don’t wait for the answers.
What’s pulling you for the coming year?
What word will you give this year?
What will you do to be kinder to yourself?
What will you do to build, begin, deepen your relationships?
How do you want to be, how do you want to feel on the Full Moon 6 months from now (July 19th)?
Set your intentions and let them grow!